I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
