We named our party play list daddy issues
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
