I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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