Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
