woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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