I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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