i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
