and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
