I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
