we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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