We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
