The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
