Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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