Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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