Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize