fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
