he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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