and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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