I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
