they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
this is an emotional support booty call
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize