she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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