True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
