White coat. Heels.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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