Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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