he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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