Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
