It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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