Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
