So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
