all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
