My brain says no but my pants say off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
