he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
