he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
