"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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