let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize