i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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