i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just high enough for therapy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
