I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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