you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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