Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
