ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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