I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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