my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
