walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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