Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
