By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
