there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
