Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
