i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
