sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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